good at rambling

Other than catching the flu for the first time since I was, I don't know, five, in the time I've been missing from class, I was approached by a friend about a project, well, a publication--a zine/music thing that would see no financial contribution on my part whatsoever. I thought I'd never ever get financial backing for any of my insane projects but in six months time, I hope, people'll be seeing a pop-up, pop-culture oriented zine/10" single/thing out with the help of yours truly and a couple of amazing people scattered around the country and production paid for by someone else (!). The opportunity is really great and I'm glad to be part of something, but it totally brings in a few facets I've never had to deal with before.

Namely, there's someone rich I don't know well expecting something from us with set in stone deadlines. Also, an "us". I've never worked with other people before on a scale like this, where the budget is something I don't have to worry about dipping into my rent, where I only have to concentrate on how to make our ideas work together in a timely manner. Other people? Freak me out. I'm used to just making books/zines of this nature alone, that it's a weird shifting from a very personal, "do it while I'm watching TV" thing to a "meeting on Sundays to discuss screen-printers" mindset. What I like to do for "fun" is turning into work and that is AWESOME (but not FANTASTIC because I'd really like to see shit like this buy me, like, a pair of shoes or something instead of just stroking my ego...). No one expects to make any money from this and it'll be a one-time deal but it's planted a lot of thoughts and questions in my head. Would it be possible for a tiny project like this to blossom into something bigger? Into something self-sustaining (rather, as self-sustaining as it can be while still dependent on distribution and marketing and whatnot)? Into something people actually want and pay for? Will I be lucky again to find people who think I'm endearing enough to throw money at once in a while for really ridiculous projects? How do people "make it", if they "make it" at all? Will it be possible to quit my dead-end job to do things I'm stoked on like help word/art/story/whatever projects materialize? So many thoughts! Other than sheer will and tenacity, constant toil, and hoping that rich people who feel bad for poor people always exist, I wonder if there is any other way.

But, back to Invisible Arc, back to my baby. And that's the name I'm sticking with for the project in class because although it sounds dumb when read aloud, it looks really good written down and typeset. Never saying my project title aloud again. Yes. What I'm psyched on for that? An artist/musician/graphic novelist agreed to an interview for it. He may or may not be doing the artwork, too, depending on how desperate sounding I am on the phone or something, but dude encompasses a lot of the hodge-podge, aesthetic-driven, cross/mixed-media stuff I'm interested in showcasing inside of Invisible Arc and he seemed at least interested in my project. So I'm excited for the interview, if that's all I can charm out of him.